Thinking about getting married? O woman beware!!
a humorous look at what could happen; I share what happened to me:
I was just young and dumb, like my mama says she was, as she care-takes for my daddy whom she has been married to for 57 years. Only I was older than my mama, and maybe dumber (when I married), but I did TRY to be smart. I even bought a book, read all 400ish pages and did all the work to calculate by (I think her name was) Dr. Barbara DeAngelis’s formula that my “fiancee” and I were 75% compatible and determination and perseverance, according to Dr. DeAngelis, would determine the success of our relationship.
By God’s grace, we persevered. I think we are over the tough stuff now. I consider myself to be in a happy marriage.
But today as I got into my car in my driveway to go pick my daughter up from sports practice, and I heard my husband, 54 years old from inside the house yelping and screeching like a 6 year old on the playground at school.……. it drove me crazy (ALMOST) for the one thousandth time.
This has been one of the surprises that I came heir to after I married my husband, and I dated him for THREE years before we married! I swear that he kept this a secret from me, during our “dating phase.” He likes to make crazy sounds, and loud sounds, little boy sounds from a big man voice sounds, but as my daughter pointed out, this is something that he saves for US, the people that are closest to him, the people who live with him. It is basically what he does when he is comfortable and happy. Isn’t that weird? Wouldn’t be so weird if he were an elementary school kid, but he is not.
He is a man with responsibilities of a man. He takes care of man of the house business. He wrote the check out for my son’s car. He wrote the checks for his son’s university tuition….
Well anyway, I am here to tell you that this characteristic of my husband has not been real easy for me to get accustomed to or to embrace. Maybe my “weirdness” is that I thought if my husband was going to be weird, that he should only be weird in a way that my daddy was weird, and my daddy was not weird at all; he was only PERFECT.
My daddy really was about PERFECT as a daddy. As a husband I would not say it quite like that.
So ladies, considering getting married: think real hard. You need to examine closely, evaluate and analyze, ask the hard questions, do your research, and keep your eyes open, and I am kind of sorry to tell you, but
THERE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO BE SURPRISES anyway, and you might as well not walk down the aisle and say, “I do,” unless you are ready to embrace his weirdness, and surprises too!
1) first year of marriage, with our first child, after three years of dating=4 years of love, By then I had begun to learn about the noises, and a few other idiosyncrasies that I had no clue I would be still enduring 25 years later. I kept thinking he would “mature out of it.”
2)in hotel for son of my heart’s wedding; a second son that we tried to adopt…
3) a recent picture of me with my family of origin (Mom, Dad, sister)
4) I love the smiles that my daughter, dad, and I are wearing at my niece’s graduation from nursing school.
If you are really blessed in your marriage, maybe you will be like me, and 25 years later, love him even more than earlier when he drove you even crazier, and maybe in the later years (like for me) you TOO will have your eyes opened to some of your own weirdness, weaknesses and flaws that you were blind to earlier.
It is a journey. Just BEWARE, and give a care, to seek counsel from the Lord, and His people.
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